If I Die

Do you ever picture yourself dying? Dead? Buried six feet under?

Because I do. I just did.

Do you ever picture people crying over your dead body in your grave?

Because I don't. I can't imagine people will cry over my disappearing, willingly.

I am the person that's keep to themself. Never open up unless it is with the people I trust the most. I am an introvert.

So you can count with fingers on your right hand, how many people befriended me. Not much, not many, just enough.

But even enough is not enough to make me imagine them crying over my dead body.

Here is the list of people who would cry if I dead:
1. My mom
2. My dad
3. My brother
4. No one

I try to remember my close friends since elementary. This girl who always with me. Those girls who I always defend when they get bullied. These boys who played and threw jokes with me. None of them will cry over me. No one.

So I would recall those memories again, and think over. Why would I want to befriend them?

Ah, because on that very moment, I found my self 'click' with them, in many ways.

But even a 'click' won't last that long to make them cry for me.

I try to imagine this girl from my junior high cry over my dead body. Failed. She would probably just shocked and said "Innalillahi wa innailaihi rojiun". And nothing more.

I try to imagine those girls who I defend when they get bullied. They would probably just do the exact same thing with the girl from my junior high.

I try to imagine these boys who played and threw jokes with me. The would probably just do the exact same thing with the girl from my junior high.

So, theoretically, if I only get that much for crying, how many people would send prayers for me?

Those things make me think again, am I doing the right thing? Befriend them? Is the person who close with me, who I trust now, trustworthy? Do they?

Do yours?

Before they get too late, think again.

Do your closest friends really your close friends?

If you would cry over them when they dead, will they?

Think again.